I'm stuck someplace between preparing myself for what might come and hoping for a miracle. It's seems pretty clear that things will not improve at this point but I'm having trouble feeling like I'm giving up on him.
My Dad does this really funny dance, like he's crapping himself, and I realized yesterday that I'll never see him do that dance again. He's also everyone's biggest cheerleader. I will selfishly miss his excitement and encouragement.
The boys are really growing up. Gabe is talking up a storm and acts like a true Power Ranger. He has all the moves down pat - you should see his spin-kick. Isaiah is showing signs of my special gifting as a young child, temper-tantrums. This boy can pitch a fit with the best of them. I don't know that I would discribe myself as proud, but it is cool to see such amazing similarities.
Well, I think I'll have one more bowl of cereal and try to get back to bed. Hug your family today and tell them how much they mean to you. Don't wait.
1 comment:
Hi Kit. I am so sorry for you. I can only imagine what this must be like for you right now. I know you already know to be thankful for what you have now, in this moment, but I cannot encourage you enough in that.
Jonathan's dad passed away so suddenly, after what they thought was a sort of flu. Turns out it was malaria he had gotten from Sudan, Africa. It was horrible for all the kids, as they all had to find their own peace by reflecting on past times with their dad, rather than actually saying goodbye to him.
When Jonathan rushed into the room at his mother's call, his dad was already gone, and he was the first one to come in the room of all the kids. Many were at other peoples' houses, one brother was even on a cruise. Their shock and pain was great.
Its amazing that we are so blessed in the little things, and don't take the time to note them until its too late. I am so glad you have that chance now, with your daddy. And remember that God is the only one who can give you true joy in these times! We can't make ourselves be content, peaceful, happy, or even 'fine', we can only depend on Him.
That song, if you've heard it..."Held" by Natalie Grant, is really what has gotten me through lots of deaths and close calls in our families.
Love you, miss you!
Love,
Heather
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